U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
