She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
