every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
