cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
