smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
