a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
