Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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