allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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