I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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