Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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