What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
