I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize