We won't sleep together?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
