Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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