Already got asked if we're dating
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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