so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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