Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
