Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is it penis luge time yet?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
