This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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