i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
