wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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