just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
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The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
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Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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