I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
