He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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