He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
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In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.