Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles

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(817): View more from Texas

The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag

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(510): View more from California

It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising

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(206): View more from Washington

I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.

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