I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
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Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.