Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
