There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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