Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
