super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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