I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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