first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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