I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
