guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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