hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
should my penis look like a turkey
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
