I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
