I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
