It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
