may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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