i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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