Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
