in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
the liver wants what the liver wants
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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