why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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