I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
