i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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