I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize