Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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