A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
