Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
