is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
