My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
