I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
