If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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