I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
