he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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