How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
