when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
