Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
