well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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