Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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