I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
