whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
