Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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